I've given up and i don't know what to do. Sometimes, i don't know how to answer people's questions anymore. Perhaps, I should just admit and stop trying so hard to be hiding behind say 'no' and 'I don't know', adding a smile with that. I'm trying so hard to keep it all to myself, cause it'll definitely sound stupid if i tell others. Anyway, what difference will it make? I think i don't know anymore, I'm just such an idiotic fickle-minded retarded person that whatever i do or say doesn't cause any impact on anyone. People don't care. Even if some cared, I don't feel any change. Cause it is worthless. Why would anyone want to talk me out of this? I feel like drowning and just die.