Thursday, October 15, 2009

I really regret not cherishing my secondary school days so much. I really feel this tug in my heart now, that i cannot express. When I think back, now, i cannot go to school with Wenqi, wearing that uncomfortable uniform as a ESSS student ANYMORE(except for Olvls which i seriously dread right now.) I don't know why but i didn't cry but Wenqi cried like some crazy person beside me.

I remember in Secondary One and Two, 1e3 and 2e3. I thought that our class was the most fun class. And i remembered all the bad things We've done, letting our parents, teachers and ourselves down. We flung vulgarities at each other and others like nobody's business, thinking it was SO cool, like some of the younger-than-us people do now. We even get ourselves into stupid things like doing things we thought was cool. I remembered my mother finding out and she used her fist to break the mirror in the toilet, causing it to bleed. Those were the days when my results were atrocious and I did not know how i could comfort myself into thinking that was okay just because my best friend was like that too. Even though we had tons of friends then, I feel that those friends were not worthy of my time now. We spent our time like we had nothing to do, spending the night outside, rejecting every call that i can possibly receive from my mother. We did many bad things that I feel ashamed of just mentioning it. I want to say sorry to the friends that I've hurt, especially the ones who treated me as their best of friends in the future. But, I know that you, in turn, did something damn it bad as well, so, oh well. Enough of sec 2 disgrace. 

I reached sec 3. I didn't know what cause such a great change in me. It took me awhile to get use to the idea that I am about to study, to work hard and to cover up for the times that I have missed out and wasted. I got my very first encouragement from the Math test which I got full marks and I've decided that I can do it, isn't it? So, I worked hard. My new sec 4 class was deemed as the worst class in the whole 4 express. But now, i realize it doesn't really matter. Even though I was in the last class, at least we have the basic respect and values that I think some people don't have. Some people in other better classes are not even humble enough and might think that they are very clever and can be proud just like that. But, no. If you are super clever but still do irritating and bossy stuff, you can just go and die now. I've drift apart from many friends, but I made new ones too. My class in Sec 4 is the funnest and loveliest class that I have ever come across. I really cannot believe that we cannot be able to sit in the same class and cracking jokes anymore. I still really miss all of you even though sometimes you all are quite irritating as well. :P 

But, I really MISS YOU ALL. I really want to rewind back the day, just for one day is also great. At least i can reminisce all the great things with you all and at least do something for all of you. 

I will post all your photos on the next post okay! I love 4e4 and Clifton :)

1 comment:

3E4, The Undying Spirits (: said...

this is ur most touching blog entry EVER.
--Mr Tan